“Everything is self-evident,” said Rene Descartes, mathematician and philosopher.
Everything is self-evident if you have high emotional intelligence and are good at reality-testing.
If you’re clouded with emotions, stuck in the past, inflexible, inauthentic, or inept at verbal and nonverbal communication, alas, everything is not self-evident.
When you develop your emotional intelligence, and the ability to understand and manage your emotions and those of others, you see things clearly.
You can avoid the following pitfalls to accurate perception and smart choices:
- How you WISH things were.
- How you think things SHOULD be.
- Believing that how things have always been in the past is the way they are now, and ever will be.
- Assumptions about situations in-the-moment which seem at the surface level to be similar to experiences and people in the past. Assumptions always need to be checked out.
- Your persona or inauthentic, unintegrated self, which shifts according to mood, emotion, person and situation leaving you without compass or anchor.
- Your ability to delude yourself because of lack of self-knowledge.
- Self-sabotaging because of lack of self-knowledge, self-management and low EQ.
- Fear, anger, jealousy and other strong emotions which distort thinking.
- Hearing what you WANT to hear or NEED to hear instead of what’s actually being said. Failing to take into account the other person’s nonverbal behavior.
- Distortion from relying on other people’s perceptions of reality and/or “catching” their emotions.